I can't believe that I just ate a scorpion.
My name is Dan and I have been a vegetarian for five months now. I quit eating meat in December of last year (just after turkey day; I love turkey) and have not eaten meat since then. I would like to say that I enjoyed the experience of eating a poisonous, deadly insect and that it was life changing, but no. I did not enjoy it and I will never do it again.
It all started when Jeff, a co-worker, and I were going out to lunch and saw a candy store on our way. Jeff said, "Hey, that is where you can get candy coated bugs." "Do you want to eat bugs for lunch?" I asked. "We'll seeÉ" said he.
As we were walking back to the office, we decided to go for it. I chose an amber candy-covered scorpion and Jeff picked a couple of chocolate-covered crickets and larvaes. I was already thinking that I couldn't do this. We arrived at the office and began to eat our ÒnormalÓ lunches. Upon finishing, we looked at each other with terror and said simultaneously: "Well???"
As we were setting up, the next question arose: Who will go first? The butterflies in my belly began to flutter so hard you could see them. I was terrified. All I could think about was that I should have chosen crickets too. What was I thinking? Why did I buy a scorpion? I could have picked a mealworm, or a cricket. Why oh why did I choose a scorpion? I just wanted to get it over with. "I'll go first" I said and sat down in front of my enemy. I played with scorpion for a while. I just couldn't bring myself to put him in my mouth. I broke him in half thinking that this would make things easier. It didn't end up helping.
CRUNCH!
I could taste nothing except the toffee but boy oh boy, I could feel him. He swooshed around in my mouth and I thought I was going to throw up. After a minute of crunching, mashing, and chewing, I offered to trade my other half of scorpio for a cricket and a larva. No deal was the word from Jeff and so down the other half went. This one was bigger and I could really feel him. I began to picture him running around my mouth and I almost barfed. A leg or maybe a pincer got stuck between my teeth. With some water and a lot of guts, it disapeared from my mouth and so far, I am alive. I will surely update you with more information if my health begins to decline. My conclusions are simple. Learn from others mistakes. Do not go and waste money on a bug just to get sick like I feel right now. If you need to experience something first hand, then go hard or go home. Buy a scorpion, not a cricket. Prove to yourself that you aren't afraid and swallow that bug!
Final thoughts: What is the last thing that goes through a bugs mind before he/she hits your windshield? Their butts.
Hey everyone, Jeff here, the crickets weren't any better.