Hey Casey,

My dilemma is this. A friend of mine is really cocky when it comes to his looks. He works out, so he is in good shape. He can become self-involved at times, especially when it comes to girls, which comes as no surprise. He gets cocky and macho-like, and I know that some of the girls he approaches don't like this. Sadly, he doesn't notice. How do I tell him (nicely) to smarten up?

He's not all that, Brampton, ON

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Dear He's not all that,

If it were a friend of mine, I think I'd go with the direct/blunt approach. I might say, "Have you ever noticed how cocky you are, and how much most chicks hate it??" That, although a bit crude, would probably work if you think that he's pretty self-secure.

On the other hand, if you're worried about tramping on his delicate ego... which can often be hiding behind the macho image that guys project... you might want to follow a more subtle plan of action. Something more like saying how much you and your girl friends hate how self-absorbed some other guy (who is just like your friend, ideally not even as bad) is, and how much of a turn-off it can be. The subject could even come up in a game of truth or dare or something.

At any rate, you need to let him know.......Not telling him could let him walk into a whole world of embarrassment when he finally does figure it out, plus he's probably a real pain in the ass. :)

Casey