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The room was illuminated by at least thirty black and white candles whose dancing flames cast eerie shadows on the walls. Kylie knew that someday a rogue breeze would move a lit wick just enough to reduce the entire apartment complex to matchsticks and cinderblocks; but Dominick couldn't be dissuaded from their nightly use. She glanced at Dominick, who was dead to the world. Thank God for Dr Patel's valium. So maybe it was Kylie's prescription, but what Dr. Patel didn't know was that Kylie slept fine when her boyfriend was drugged. She tapped her mahogany desktop, her long nails clicking like a typewriter. Kylie hated the things, but she kept them long for Dominick. Bored from the bedroom and nauseous from the candle effect, Kylie made her way to the kitchen. She opened a window for "fresh" air Halifax had to offer--anything was better then Dom's Belvedere's--and made herself a cup of instant coffee. It was vile and made her sick to her stomach, but she wasn't in the mood for Dominick's specialty East Peruvian mountain beans, and anyway, the grinder made too much noise. She flopped into a plastic wingback chair and sighed. The chair, in all its lime green monstrosity, helped her think, although she wasn't sure why. Kylie knew that she was in a rotten relationship. She wasn't stupid. She also knew that she didn't love Dominick. Something about him held her, and drew her back every time that she decided that the time had come to move on--maybe this phase in her life wasn't over with yet. The bottom line was, Kylie hated her life. She was desperately lonely, scarred inwardly and outwardly by her three years with Dom, and it seemed completely out of luck. Maybe she'd cheated life so often that now fate was cheating her. Sometimes Kylie wondered if she still had the ability to cry. She hadn't done it in years. Perhaps people stop crying when sadness gives way to misery. A hand on her shoulder jerked Kylie out of the light sleep that she had lapsed into. She was shocked to discover that it was already mid-morning. "Hey baby." When Dominick bent to kiss her, his chin-length, black hair brushed Kylie's cheek. She blinked, and said nothing, averting her eyes from Dominick's face. He crouched beside her, and turned her face towards his. " Hey, Kylie. What's wrong?" "Nothing. Go brush your teeth." Kylie stood up and went to the bedroom, and began to methodically extinguish the candles. Left up to Dom, the candles would burn down to puddles of wax. She made the bed, picked up the cigarette pack lying on the night stand and snapped every single one into three pieces and tossed them out the window Kylie wondered if Dom would ever figure out where his smokes disappeared to. She locked the door almost the same time Dominick tried to come in. She had an almost-sense of when Dom was coming, and could act accordingly to protect herself. The door rattled back and forth a few times and then he knocked. "Kylie, open the door." "I'm getting dressed Dominick, wait a minute." Instantly Kylie regretted her stupid excuse. "Kylie, what are you trying to hide?" She could hear the anger rise in his voice. "What is there that I haven't seen before?" Kylie's pride and defiance evaporated. " Nothing baby, I'm sorry." When she unlocked the door, the click it made was unusually loud. She shook her head to clear the echos. Dom stood there looking at her. Kylie realized that she was fully clothed. " I, um, I wasn't getting dressed, I was making the bed. I must have accidentally locked the door. I'm sorry." " Relax Kylie," Dominick's expression changed. "Accidents happen." The expression on Dom's face alone was enough to make her cringe. She knew what came after the eye of the storm. The feeling that came over her then could only be described as like going to the dentist. Even though your mouth never felt the pain, your body knew full well what was going to happen. When Dominick punched her, Kylie reflexively crumpled to the floor into a turtle position. This was to provide maximum protection if he kicked her. But nothing came. The sound of Dominick rummaging around in the drawers throbbed loud in her head. Not quite as loud as the door unlocking, but loud enough that it brought tears to Kylie's eyes. "I'm out of cigarettes. I'll be back in a bit." "Yep." She tried her best not to whimper from her place on the floor. Kylie heard Dominick crouch down beside her. "Baby, I'm sorry. I don't know why I hit you, honey. But Kylie, you can't lie to me like that. Nothing makes me more mad. You know that, don't you?" " I know baby, I'm sorry." she sat up and hugged him, cursing herself for being so weak. For one wild second she thought about how she could kill him right now. She had the black eye, she could say it was self-defence. As quickly as it came Kylie pushed the thought out of her mind. Not only was she weak, but she was crazy too. And she though Dominick was psychotic. After a few minutes, Dominick left, and Kylie was left alone. Hopefully Dom would see the bar on the way to the store and decide that he needed to stop for an hour. Maybe three. Kylie stumbled to the freezer and pressed a bag of frozen peas to her throbbing eye. Her hands shook and she rested her head on the plastic topped table, which was uneven, and wobbled with each shuddering breath she took. There was a vase on the table, with three purple flowers floating in yellowed water. Every time the table moved, the water sloshed back and forth, not quite slopping over the edge. Anger leaped out of her, anger at the water for not spilling. With an infuriated scream, Kylie grabbed the vase and hurled it with all her strength at the wall. The cheap glass shattered, tiny, wet pieces flew out in a thousand directions. The old water dripped down the wall, collecting in a puddle on the linoleum, some of it leaked behind the baseboard. The flowers were like dead soldiers, lying twisted, broken, reaching for each other at the center of the minefield. She felt a rush. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. Power, and Kylie liked it. She enjoyed hearing the glass smash, seeing those helpless flowers. It was an incredible feeling. Oblivious to anything but the high, Kylie walked across the broken glass to get a broom. But as she absently swept up the shards, whatever had given her power before disappeared; floated away, leaving Kylie destitute. She cradled the dead flowers in her hands, exhausted from the crashing low. Her entire body shook. Dominick woke her when he got home. Kylie wasn't even sure how she got herself into bed. She thought she'd dreamt it all, but the cuts on her hands proved those minutes of senselessness had actually occurred. The prospects of being capable of taking leave of her senses terrified Kylie beyond everything she'd been afraid of before. She'd heard somewhere that you could be your own worst enemy, but could you, Kylie wondered, be your own worst nightmare? She'd become Dominick for a few minutes, and that was what scared her the most. In a daze, Kylie dragged herself out of bed. "What's the matter with you Kylie?" "Nothing," she mumbled, "I didn't sleep well last night." "Aren't you taking you Valium baby?" He blew smoke over her shoulder. "That eye looks awful Kylie, I'm so sorry." "I know." She closed her eyes, and sighed. She longed to hit him like he hit her, but Kylie couldn't bring herself to be so cruel. That vase didn't count. Still she couldn't get the picture of the flowers lying on the floor in a spray of water and glass out of her head. Vaguely, Kylie became aware that Dominick was talking to her. She looked at him with hollow eyes. "What's the matter Kylie?" he put out his cigarette. "Are you sick?" "I think so." Kylie desperately tried to grab onto the threads of sense that flickered maddeningly out of her reach. She tried to stabilize the pitching room, and began to question her own sanity. Dominick turned her head toward his. He was shouting her name, she thought. Maybe not. Did he look afraid? Kylie wasn't sure. All she knew was that she must be dying. Her whole body wanted more of that powerful feeling from before. She wrenched herself out of Dominick's grasp and stumbled out of the bedroom. Through blurred vision, Kylie saw the lime green chair, staggered toward it and dropped into it. The chair rocked with the force. Then she calmed down. For some reason the chair gave her comfort, and anchored her mind. The room snapped into focus and she began to breath again. Dominick stood in the bedroom doorway looking at Kylie apprehensively. She waved him over, and kissed his cheek. " That was really weird." she said, more to herself than to Dominick. "I think I have a fever." "You aren't any warmer than usual, sweetheart. Are you feeling all right?" Dominick looked genuinely concerned. "I'm fine. Now anyway." she smiled. "Wow. That was really bizarre." "Maybe you should lie down." "I'm okay Dominick, I'll be fine." "I really think that you should lie down." That familiar expression was back. Klyie shuddered and realized that nothing was ever going to stop him. All she knew was that she didn't want him to hit her again. Her eye still throbbed. She looked at the clock. It surprised her to see how late it was. She'd slept the entire day away. "It's late anyway Dom. Why don't you light the candle, and I'll make you a drink." Dominick seemed satisfied with the idea and went to the bedroom. Kylie quietly slipped into the kitchen and poured Dom a brandy. Then she took four Valium caplets out of the bottle and snapped them open, dumping the contents into the liquor and waited for them to dissolve. Dominick drank his alcohol obliviously, as always, and lay down beside her. When his breathing was regular, Kylie rolled out of bed and slipped down the darkened hall. As she passed the kitchen, Kylie felt a breeze. The window was still open from the night before. She slid it shut and looked at the twinkling city lights. They were like the flames from Dominick's candles. The thought of each building being a waxen statue made her smile. Crossing the linoleum again, Kylie felt a stabbing pain in her foot. She cursed under her breath and limped to a chair. Deeply embedded in the arch was a piece of glass. Wincing in pain, she picked it out and threw it into the sink. Kylie heard the tinkling of glass on metal and turned to her assaulted foot. She screamed. She was drowning in blood. It was up to her waist. Where was it coming from? Deep inside, Kylie knew it wasn't real. The blood, hot and sticky, taking her over. She screamed again. This wasn't real. In her head, she tried to make her brain function. Dominick would wake up. She'd be committed, put in a straight jacket. But Dominick had taken four Valium. A freight train wouldn't wake him. Kylie beat the table with her fists, pulled her hair. Dom had done this to her. She looked at her hands, her eyes resting on her long fingernails. She grabbed for a pair of scissors and cut the nails so short her fingers bled. Kylie blinked. She was lying on the floor, her hands and foot aching. Blood was spattered all over the kitchen, but the deep, drowning pool was gone. In it's place were hundreds of flowers, all different shades of purple. Glass exploded and the flowers went flying to lie twisting and writhing in puddles of blood. Tiny tastes of tantalizing power undulated over her. Kylie began to shake. Flowers were burning, dripping blood from their stems, pounding in her head. She screamed and scrambled to her feet. A cool breeze. Candles. That power was aching to be released. She limped down the hall towards the bedroom and stared at the wall of candles. The candles warmed her face; Kylie was suddenly very cold. She saw Dominick in the flames, smiling at her. "I love you Kylie." He said, and turned into a snake. Gently, Kylie blew the snake until he touched the wall. She stood in the bedroom until the entire was a blaze and then she sought refuge in her chair. The air quickly became hotter then Kylie's anger, searing her lungs with every breath. She pulled her legs close to her and tried to block out the flowers, but the filled the room, trying to drown them in her blood. Sixteen-year-old
Carlie is currently awaiting the start of |
By: Carlie H., Canning, NS