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By Garnett Fulton |
Imagine yourself at the bottom of a sheer cliff. Someone older and wiser orders you to climb up. You start, but slip. They tell you to find a toehold and try again. But there are no toeholds, no way can you climb the wall.
For your whole life you stand before the wall, trying to get even a start up it. And people you respect tell you that if you'd just try harder, you could do it.
This is Garnett Fulton's life. He cannot read. He cannot understand the shapes of the letters. And he cannot write those letters down.
When we heard about Garnett's drive to finish school and the support he got to do it, we asked him to share his story. This is a transcript of his tape.
School has been an uphill fight for me. Back at the end of grade four I was tired of being in a grade where the kids were two years younger than I. The school board agreed to move me into a Modified Grade 7. For most of the students, Modified classes were a joke. For me, who wanted to learn, it was a trap that closed in on me.
The hardest thing is I was branded as a lazy, no-good student because I couldn't read. Everyday I was at risk because there was always someone telling me I was stupid or lazy.
It isn't as if I don't want to read; it's that I can't. It isn't as if I haven't tried; I spent quite a few years with extra help classes. It's nothing that I'm proud of. It's nothing that I'm ashamed of either.
Getting into high school was a big step for me. I was used to being the lowest rung on the ladder. But in high school I found it was sort of like a high getting respect from people in my class. I have pretty good memory; anything I hear once I usually remember. When it came to doing homework or essays, kids in my class would have to look it up in books. I used to be able to tell them from memory. I had an 80% average. It made me feel good. It made me look normal.
It was grade 10 when I insisted that I be put in regular classes. From one teacher I got taped exams and assignments. Teachers slowly began to accept oral reports and believe that I could learn in a different way from most of their students.
It's a lot easier to deal with your problem when you understand and accept it, and if you have something that you're good at. You take that one thing and you work at it and make it better and better.
What has helped me get through all these years of school and now on to college is knowing I'm just as good as anyone else. I have mistakes, they have mistakes. Never give up on yourself.
You have to see a goal for yourself, even though it seems very far off in the distance. You goal was to have a time when I could stand on my own two feet, look after myself and have a family and look after them.
To be able to accomplish the things that I have is really remarkable.
I've had to believe in something that was bigger than me. This helps me to keep on track and not be swayed off into a different direction. If I take time and deal with the problems I have right now and not worry too much about the future, it makes it easier to deal with the day-to-day things.
Life is like a wheel...what goes around comes around. If you treat people with respect and understanding, treat them equal, they'll do the same to you.
But you should stand your ground and believe in yourself. Wait and listen, hear people out, and stick by yourself. By doing this you gain the respect of the person. Most often that person will go out of their way to help you.
Respect yourself and don't let other people put you down. If you can't get over the mountain, go around it. There is always a way.
Just because teachers are teaching you one way, it doesn't mean it's the only way. I've had to take responsibility for what happens to me. This is something that only I can do.
I try to deal with my strong points. I have the ability to work with my hands and I enjoy drawing and building. It's not necessary to read to do these things well.
I have a lot of respect for books. From pictures I get ideas, designs. But other people can read the directions. I have to sit down and think and figure out for myself how to build a certain design.
©1999 TG Magazine/Le Magazine TG
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