Deep Listening
Often when we are "listening" to someone else speaking, even though we think that we are really listening to them, we are busy in our minds thinking many things: "Do I agree with what he/she is saying? Do I feel the same way? What am I going to reply to him/her? What am I going to have for lunch? He/she must feel so sad... What can I say to make him/her feel better?"
Even our facial expressions, which often mirror what we are thinking or feeling, can distract us from really hearing what someone is saying. And often, even smiling encouragingly at the person speaking, can distract both speaker and listener from what is being said.
Deep listening, means that you sit with the person speaking and stay as open and present as you can, just hearing what they are saying, without your own thoughts, ideas, opinions or judgements.
One technique that really helps is to refrain from replying at all - for example, in a group, each person has a chance to speak with the others listening, but no one replies to anything that is said. There is no "discussion" only listening to and understanding the other.
